Putin and the Politics of Badassery

So the latest news out of the Russian fire situation is that Prime Minister Vladimir Putin is putting them out himself.

He can drive stick, too.

I am now at a total loss to explain how Putin is so utterly and totally badass.  Seriously, he’s in the copilot seat of a rescue plane dumping twelve tons of water onto a maelstrom of fire.  The closest the U.S. president has ever gotten to that is the pilot president from Independence Day, and he had to be bailed out by some crop-dusting hick with a serious hatred of anal probes.  But that’s not nearly the extent of Putin’s badassitude.  Not nearly.

A simple image search reveals just some of Putin’s exploits (please read all following captions in a Russian accent):

Tell me I'm wearing headphones wrong one more time.

You think you can hide in wood? You cannot hide in wood.

 

Please tag and release to wild, so I can kill it with bare hands.

 

I teach you to disrespect Mother Russia, child.

Several transmissions beamed to ship by rebel spies. I am wanting to know what happened to plans.

In all honesty, no American president comes remotely close to the badassery Putin displays on a routine basis, and I think that — wait, I hear something…

BULLY! LOOK ALIVE BOYS, DON'T COUNT THE AMERICANS OUT OF THIS SCRAP YET!

Ah, yes.  Theodore Roosevelt to the rescue once again.  It’s nice to know that somewhere between the corpulence of Fillmore and Taft we had a man worthy of even Putin’s respect leading the country.

Damn right, chaps, and don't you forget it.

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