So the latest news out of the Russian fire situation is that Prime Minister Vladimir Putin is putting them out himself.
I am now at a total loss to explain how Putin is so utterly and totally badass. Seriously, he’s in the copilot seat of a rescue plane dumping twelve tons of water onto a maelstrom of fire. The closest the U.S. president has ever gotten to that is the pilot president from Independence Day, and he had to be bailed out by some crop-dusting hick with a serious hatred of anal probes. But that’s not nearly the extent of Putin’s badassitude. Not nearly.
A simple image search reveals just some of Putin’s exploits (please read all following captions in a Russian accent):
In all honesty, no American president comes remotely close to the badassery Putin displays on a routine basis, and I think that — wait, I hear something…
Ah, yes. Theodore Roosevelt to the rescue once again. It’s nice to know that somewhere between the corpulence of Fillmore and Taft we had a man worthy of even Putin’s respect leading the country.