I just found a folder labeled “failed ideas” on my hard drive, which I think is from high school journalism.  Included, a word document that reads:

Let’s make a list of everything I can do: 1) write the occasional newspaper editorial; 2) solve second-order, non-homogenous differential equations; 3) when I was four I could name like three hundred dinosaurs.

Great.  So I can be a paleo-theoretical mathematician with a blog.

And another that reads:

There are 37,000 nail gun injuries per year in the United States.

Now, I’m no expert, but a nail gun seems pretty basic to me.  It works on the same premise as–oh, I don’t know–a gun.  How the hell did 37,000 people manage to accidentally maim themselves with a nail gun?

I’ve become disillusioned about the extents of human intelligence.  Somewhere between pointing the wrong end of a power tool at a plank of wood and “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” I realized that there are some people in the world who, well, are prone to shoot themselves in the face with a nail gun.


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