The Seth Material Compendium, Part IV: Miscellaneous

Or, “Other Stuff”


A List of Things that Annoy Me

•    Styrofoam packing peanuts
•    Cars that drive two miles under the speed limit
•    Cars that drive fifteen miles over the speed limit
•    Spoiled milk
•    Paris Hilton
•    When the printer runs out of ink
•    When there’s not enough cereal left for a full bowl
•    Gas prices
•    Nathaniel Hawthorne
•    Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper
•    The third CSPAN
•    Congress
•    Mallard Fillmore
•    Pens that are out of ink
•    Pens that are out of ink when you’re interviewing the principal for the first time
•    Instruction manuals
•    Postcards
•    Postscripts
•    Post offices
•    North Dakota
•    Ignorance
•    Movie theater food prices
•    Movie theater ticket prices
•    Movie theater floors
•    Movie theaters that spell their name “theatre”
•    Latin
•    Pat Robertson
•    Karl Linnaeus
•    Snails
•    The TV guide listing channels I don’t get
•    Reichs
•    Cats
•    Cats, the musical
•    Losing
•    Poaching
•    An undeclared state of naval war eventually leading to a cool-down of hostilities between a fledgling nation and its mother country despite widespread impressments and other wartime atrocities in the late eighteenth century
•    1987
•    Wal-Mart Mega Stores
•    Wal-Mart not-quite-as-mega stores
•    Jim Rome
•    Mount Saint Helens
•    Censorship
•    Schizophrenics
•    Parking lots you have to pay to use
•    Driving in Los Angeles
•    Soy meat
•    Cholesterol
•    When you can’t find the droids you’re looking for
•    Obscurity
•    Stupidity
•    Indifference
•    Batgirl
•    Kim Jong-Il
•    “Nucular”
•    Armageddon
•    Homonyms
•    The Hundred Years War
•    Typing
•    Acronyms
•    Palindromes
•    Trekkies
•    Non-rewritable CDs
•    Permanent markers
•    Busywork
•    Loitering
•    Losing your train of thought
•    Not boarding someone else’s train of thought
•    Having your train of thought explode in the station
•    Compulsive list-makers
•    Curmudgeons
•    Unsweetened iced tea
•    Tommy Pickles
•    Clichés
•    Gulags
•    Biology textbooks
•    Unfunny comedians
•    Oxymorons
•    Morons
•    Proselytizers
•    Door-to-door salesmen
•    Telemarketers
•    Used car salesmen
•    The phrase “mull it over”
•    Vestigial organs
•    Incontinence
•    Parrots
•    Emoticons
•    Superficial judgments
•    Superficial judgments that prove to be accurate
•    Legacies
•    Provinces
•    Provincialism
•    Show tunes
•    Managing to roll two ones in a row on a twenty-sided dice
•    Small slices of pizza
•    Frozen yogurt
•    Yogurt frozen
•    The word “yogurt”
•    Robert Bork
•    Metronomes
•    Body hair
•    The fact that “Dr Pepper” has no period in it
•    Leaks
•    The Cyrillic alphabet
•    Army recruiters
•    Pop-up ads
•    Billboards
•    Commercials for medicines that don’t mention the medicines’ purpose
•    Trial subscriptions
•    Fine print
•    The letter “q”
•    Side effects
•    Kafka dreams
•    Death
•    Karma
•    Golf
•    Windmills
•    Old English
•    Dresden
•    Pessimists
•    Optimists
•    Evangelicals
•    Gravity
•    Seriousness
•    Thing 2
•    Call-in radio shows
•    Burned-out lights
•    Nagging
•    Michael Jackson
•    Loading screens
•    Whether Dr Pepper is an MD or a PhD
•    Plumbers
•    Rudeness
•    Rocky VI
•    Losing things
•    Favoritism
•    The distinction between TM and ®
•    Network news
•    Fan films
•    Harry Potter movies
•    Loss of individualism
•    Id
•    Ego
•    Superego
•    Cigars
•    Pundits
•    Quadratics
•    Quadriplegics
•    Comas
•    Yodeling
•    Urban legends
•    Lederhosen
•    Cottage cheese
•    Braces
•    Spinach
•    Castor oil
•    Castor Oyl
•    Fidel Castro
•    Iran-contra
•    The Reagan Museum
•    ZIP codes
•    The way “vacuum” is spelled
•    Bad puns
•    Electrical wiring
•    Phonics
•    Pseudonyms
•    Herpes
•    Hermes
•    Acne
•    Anvils
•    Secondhand smoke
•    Secondhand clothes
•    The NRA
•    Slow printers
•    Dust
•    Spit
•    Mucus
•    Phlegm
•    Silent letters
•    Spelling
•    David Blaine
•    Wisdom teeth
•    Rich people
•    Forgetting to save
•    People who save every three seconds
•    Time
•    Cuckoo clocks
•    Gerrymandering
•    Misrepresentation
•    Sophomoric people
•    Dilettantes
•    Anything jejune
•    Art museums
•    Cubism
•    Taxes
•    The word “trigonometric”
•    Low-level diction
•    Rumpelstiltskin
•    Onomatopoeias
•    Not having a graphics card that supports Texture & Lighting technology
•    Jargon
•    Rap
•    Anything ending in “-izzle”
•    Melting pot analogies
•    Celebrity baby names
•    Baby food flavors
•    Hair products
•    Honeydew
•    Intelligent design
•    Unintelligent design
•    Cancer
•    Neat handwriting
•    Obsessive rationalizing
•    Public speaking
•    Portmanteaux
•    Senior moments
•    Sophomore year
•    Cesspools
•    Septic tanks
•    Yoko Ono
•    Bjork
•    Rummyworld
•    Reality television
•    The Great Awakening
•    Carl’s Jr.
•    Zerg rushes
•    Acquiescence
•    Trial AOL CDs
•    Spam
•    Junk mail
•    Ozzfest
•    The Red Ranger
•    Infomercials
•    Parallel parking
•    Body odor
•    Summer homework
•    Flies
•    Spiders in the shower
•    Faulty autoformatting
•    George Forman
•    Bowflex
•    EBay
•    Tuna fish
•    Cauliflower
•    Walking barefoot on hot asphalt
•    The US soccer team
•    Celebrity rumors and the magazines that propagate them
•    Astrology
•    Superstitions
•    Leprechauns
•    Inflation
•    Not getting enough water pressure in the shower
•    Water heaters that don’t work
•    Warm Gatorade
•    F natural minor chords
•    The Ku Klux Klan
•    Mucked-up worms on the sidewalk
•    Racism
•    Macaroni penguins
•    Fauxhawks
•    Black eyeliner on males
•    The Black Eyed Peas
•    Dialing wrong numbers
•    Answering wrong numbers
•    Wax museums
•    Borsch
•    People who talk to themselves
•    Giant Pixie Sticks
•    Aspartame
•    Number systems other than base 10
•    Public transportation
•    Traffic
•    Liars
•    Digital watches
•    Red lights
•    Senility
•    Paint color names
•    Cliffhanger endings

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3 comments

  1. That was rather comprehensive. And I have to admit that I didn’t read the whole thing. Only about half. Or a quarter. No, more like a third.

    “Nucular”

    YES, GOOD GOD.

Comments are closed.